Emergancy Program one
by An Irish Rose
Summary: One shot connected to my I promised you forever series. However, that doesn't need read. What was going on inside the Doctors head from the moment he saw Rose disintegrated till the time he sent her away?


Disclaimer-I don't own Doctor Who. If I did, would I be writing fanfics? Nope. Also, we would have had three seasons of Eccleston!

Authors Note-here is emergency protocol one! And moments before!

Thank god, they had managed to find Rose. She was still safe, she was running towards him and was so very close. Close enough that had he moved a little closer, she'd be in his arms right now. Instead, all he would hear for the rest of his existence was the scream she'd let out when the disintegration beam hit her. He'd watched it happen, he'd been powerless to stop the death of Rose. And it was his fault. He could hear Jack screaming about what the hell did you do to her, but all he could see was the pile of ashes below him. That's what was left of Rose? A pile of ashes? Nothing more. There was nothing he could do with that, no way to save her. He felt his hand touching the ashes, but it felt like a dream. Was this what traveling with him had brought Rose's life to? A pile of ashes, no body to even take home to her mother?

Jackie...oh god, Jackie was going to kill him. He couldn't even bear to think on that one. Rose was the light of everyone's life that she had grown close to. Jack was losing his control, he? Well, all he could think was that it was his fault that Rose was dead, Rose had only been brought here because of him. And now she'd never know how much she had truly helped him heal. She'd helped heal him from wanting to die, had reminded him that life was worth living, that saving people mattered. She was the only women in existence who could do what she had done and now? She was gone but for ashes. It was unbearable. Grief was overtaking him for the moment, though he knew he had to do something, anything to at least avenge her, it wasn't sticking in his mind.

Even as the security guard grabbed him and pulled him up, he couldn't find it in himself to care even as Jack continued his own grieving. What did it matter? Rose was gone...

He was pulled up, even as Jack was being yelled at to put the gun down, his eyes were on those pile of ashes. Rose, his precious Rose. Thoughts flashed in his mind, the dungeon in Cardiff, when he'd said he was so glad to have met her, in 10 Downing Street, saying I could save the world but lose you, he'd been trying to show just how far his emotions had grown, after the Dalek had eterminated itself and he'd dropped that gun. And now, she was gone and there was no bringing her back from something like that. Even Time Lord's couldn't fix everything. The security guard took escorted them to where the lockup area was for the building and he could have cared less for the moment. Jack knew what plans were like when they got arrested. They'd handle it. For now, he wasn't thinking of anything but Rose and the idea of losing her.

They took pictures of all three of them, locked them in the cage, hassled them, but it wast mattering. At this point, now he knew how they were going to handle it when the time came. When it was time, all it took was let's do it. Simple as that.

Jack did his part, he easily dispatched the one guard and it was up to floor 500. Time to find out what was exactly going on. It felt like it took forever to get up here, but Jack handled the talking until he was talking to the controller, who didn't seem to even understand.

All of it was running together for a moment until the Controller finally decided to speak and when she said it didn't matter he was all but ready to kill her himself. He knew there were some sort of masters, but he was so angry now. Jack appeared then, asking Lynda to go step somewhere else and then she was gone. Why on earth would Jack do something like that?

But then, Lynda was back and he realized even as Jack was talking. As they hugged, it really sank in. Rose was still alive, Rose was still alive. It was taking everything in him not to be even more excited but there were still things to do. They had to figure out where she was, who had her and what to do.

Soon it was realized who the signal was from. Daleks, so many Daleks. There was fear, anger and hatred running through his veins, but most of all he wanted Rose back. She didn't deserve to suffer like this or be at the mercy of so many Dalek's.

And then the Daleks came on the viewscreen, and he could see Rose holding herself stiff, and he knew she had to be quite scared, but she was losing control at all.

And then they said about she will be exterminated and he spoke, ignoring the looks that were given to him.

"I said no."

"It means No."

"No!"

"Because this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to rescue her. I'm going to save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet. And then, I'm going to save the Earth and then, just to finish off, I'm going to wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!" And the Dalek spoke again and he gave off that grin. "Yeah, and doesn't that scare you to Death! Rose?"

She looked at him, the look showing all her trust and faith in him and spoke. "Yes, Doctor."

"I'm coming to get you."

He and Jack ended up back in the TARDIS, Jack working on the extrapolator to make sure they were safe and then, they were materializing around Rose and the Dalek by her. Rose listened and got down while Jack handled the Dalek. He made it to Rose and hugged her, almost not wanting to let go of her. She was alive, she was in one piece and he really just didn't want to let go, but even as they spoke, he knew it was time to let go.

They faced down the Emperor Dalek and went back into the TARDIS and ended in the Gamestation. So much was going on, so many different emotions and he knew there was things they needed to do. He spoke to Lynda for a moment and then there was Jack, kissing them bth goodbye and it was its own heartbreaking moment. Jack knew what was coming, Rose had all her faith still in him and he was honetly afraid of letting her down. Even as she asked if Jack was going to be alright, he couldn't tell her that No, he want going to be. Instead they went to work on the wires.

And of course Rose would never think to go somewhere else. She was too good, she'd rather stay and fight and die by his side. That was something he was not going to let her do. Yes, he would let the rest stay and fight, perhaps die. Even Jack, because Jack knew what the options were, but Rose? No. He couldn't do it. Instead he lured her into the Tardis, knowing she was going to be so angry at him. It was better to have her angry at him and alive, then dead and having to see her lifeless body again. He couldn't do that. There was no way he could live with himself.

He made the Tardis dematerialize, hearing Rose yell at him, breaking his hearts all over again, but there was nothing to be done with it. He had to let her go, it was the only option.

Once it was gone, he used his sonic screwdriver to send her a message, though it was honestly killing him inside to act as if it was a hologram instead of him. He spoke, trying to keep some of the emotions off his face. "This is Emergency Programme One. Rose, now listen, this is important. If this message is activated, then it can only mean one thing. We must be in danger. And I mean fatal. I'm dead or about to die any second with no chance of escape."

It was all he could do to keep all his emotions off his face as he lied to Rose, acting as if he was just a hologram with pre-programmed words,but she would be safe. And he could see her running around and heard her no, saw the look of heartbreak on her face, but it had to be done. There was no other option. He spoke again then, trying to tell her what he really wanted to say. "And that's okay. Hope it's a good death. But I promised to look after you, and that's what I'm doing. The Tardis is taking you home."

Of course she said she wouldn't let him. She was that kind of person. She'd really die here then go home and be safe for the rest of her life, she would rather fight and make a stand. Instead he was going to continue to talk, act as if her emotions were not affecting him.

"And I bet you're fussing and moaning now. Typical. But hold on and just listen a bit more. The Tardis can never return for me. Emergency Programme One means I'm facing an enemy that should never get their hands on this machine. So this is what you should do. Let the Tardis die. Just let this old box gather dust. No one can open it. No one'll even notice it. Let it become a strange little thing standing on a street corner. And over the years, the world'll move on and the box will be buried." He hoped she'd move on, that this wouldn't cause her pain anymore, but he could see how upset she really was and it pained him to stand here, hold emotions back and continue as if this was nothing.

All he really wanted was one thing...and he was going to tell her what the one thing was. " And if you want to remember me, then you can do one thing. That's all, one thing. Have a good life. Do that for me, Rose. Have a fantastic life"

That was the end of the transmission and he could just imagine her freaking out for him sending her away, but it was all he could do for her.

He refused to let Rose die for him and if he noticed a tear or two falling? Well, he would act as if it never happened. The only thing he could do now, was end this one way or another. He would die, and that was ok. Rose was safe, the TARDIS wouldnt be exploited, she would die, but she wouldnt be used for evil and thats all he could ask for really.

Now, to finish what he had started...


End file.
